


You will shape my thoughts

by kyjr



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Highschool AU, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 12:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyjr/pseuds/kyjr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ueda Tatsuya is a little quiet; a little strange. And there's just something that has Ryo entranced by him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You will shape my thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://floppy-snoopi.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://floppy-snoopi.livejournal.com/)**floppy_snoopi**.

The classroom was dimly lit and dusty. Paintbrushes and small pots of unopened paint lay on shelves which were at their limit. Canvases were haphazardly thrown everywhere - on the paint-splattered floor; resting against the shut windows; clumsily stacked on top of one another on a small, circular table; standing against one of several easels. Paper was everywhere. Finished sketches adorned some, but many were scrunched up and thrown onto the ground. Soft classical music filtered out of an old, battered radio.

Ryo kicked an empty water bottle aside, looking around the room. He hadn't been in here before - it was a small classroom which branched off from the usual art rooms, used only by senior students. He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Ueda?" he called, "I know you're in here. Takeda-sensei asked me to come get you."

There was no sign of the man he was calling. Ryo sighed again. _Honestly, the room isn't that big..._

Ryo stepped over the masses of paper littering the floor, and cast his eye around. He ran a finger over some of the sketches and rough paintings set on the table, until he stumbled over something on the floor. Looking down, he realised it was a foot.

Alarmed, he knelt down, and tilted his head so that he could see under the table. A small man lay curled up there, deeply asleep. His hair was a copper colour, with flecks of paint in it - his hair always had flecks of paint in it - and was gently falling over his eyes.

Ryo grabbed his foot and pulled. The sleeping man jolted awake, throwing Ryo an annoyed look as he slowly sat up and crawled out from under the table.

"Morning, sunshine," Ryo drawled, and watched as Ueda rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. The other man looked questioningly at him.

"Oh, for heav-- Takeda-sensei told me to come and get you. School's over. Now hurry up so I can get outta here," Ryo said gruffly, standing back up and dusting off his pants. He groaned. His mother was going to yell at him for that paint stain on the front of his knee.

Ueda looked up at him with wide brown eyes.

"...what?" Ryo asked, moving away from him, and looking around the room. The other man made him nervous - he always had. Ueda Tatsuya had always been strange; had always been silent. He always had one pencil behind his ear, and a strange faraway look in his eyes. Ryo was never sure how to act around him - he didn't want to be his usual snarky self.

Ueda stood up, smiling gently in that weird way of his. Ryo cleared his throat, and avoided his eyes.

"Did you draw this?" Ryo asked, pointing at a large sketch laid out on the table. Ueda nodded absentmindedly, and started packing away his things into his bag. Ryo looked back at the drawing, silently admiring it. He didn't want to admit to the other that it was amazing.

Ueda shuffled around the room, sidestepping around the overflowing trashcan, and checking to see if the paint had dried on some of the papers laid out. He shook his head, muttering to himself.

"Can you...I don't know... hurry it up a bit?" Ryo asked cautiously. The copper-headed man looked up in surprise. He bowed his head slightly, and rushed around faster.

Ryo was getting impatient. They had to get out of the school before the last bus came, or they'd get locked in. They had about an hour until someone would come around and lock every room. And they wouldn't even think to check in their little art room. He started fidgeting with the corners of the splattered tablecloth, picking at the loose threads.

"D--don't worry... I..have th-the keys...." a voice murmured. Ryo's head shot up, to see Ueda fingering the pencil behind his ear.

"That's not the point, princess," Ryo said, "I was told to come get you. So here I am, getting you."

Ueda nodded, still not looking him in the eye. "S--sorry."

Ryo scoffed. "What're you sorry for? Just hurry up - I'm hungry." Ueda nodded once, and shouldered his backpack, which seemed to sag from the weight. Ryo grabbed his own bag and threw it over one shoulder, heading towards the exit where Ueda was waiting for him so that he could lock the door.

Ueda and he reported to Takeda-sensei first, and then walked towards the parking lot. Ueda nodded to him as Ryo unchained his bike, watching him walk away with shuffling footsteps and a bowed head. He chuckled as the other stumbled, quickly righting himself.

Ryo mounted his bike, and followed Ueda out of the school. As Ueda turned left where Ryo was supposed to turn right, he hesitated. There was just something about Ueda that made him turn his handlebars left.

"Hey!"

Ueda turned his head around, a question in his eyes.

"Y--you like flowers and stuff, right?" Ryo asked, hand rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't know why he was so nervous, but as Ueda nodded his head again with a quirked eyebrow, the nerves left him.

"Hop up."

Ueda looked at him, eyes wide, but he did as he was told. When his feet were firmly planted on the spikes of the back wheel, Ryo took off, causing him to lurch forward and grasp his jumper.

"Hold onto me!" Ryo smirked over his shoulder.

"...and he tells me _now,_ " the quieter boy mumbled to himself, not counting on the fact that Ryo could hear him. Ryo smiled. _So you're not as sweet as everyone thinks you are,_ he thought to himself.

Ueda hesitantly wrapped his arms around Ryo's torso, causing Ryo's insides to tighten. He smiled as copper strands of hair came into his sight, and he could feel Ueda's breath on the side of his neck. He shivered.

He left the road, suddenly, causing Ueda to gasp slightly. "Hold on tighter!"

Ryo felt the arms around him tighten considerably, and then Ueda's chest was resting against his back. Ryo could tell that Ueda was trying to keep his head away from his shoulder, but as he went over quite a large rock, Ueda's cheek was suddenly pressed into his jumper.

As he pedalled, Ryo's insides were causing havoc. They were twisting and turning, and he was quite certain that he was about to have a heart attack. He came to the conclusion that it was because he was hungry, and tried to forget about his stomach as Ueda poked him and he realised they were about to hit a tree.

"Next time tell me!"

"....I did," he mumbled again.

"You know I can hear you, right?"

Ryo felt the body behind him stiffen, and he laughed, focusing back on the road - or lack of. Suddenly, he skidded to a stop; fallen leaves and loose dirt flying out from under the wheels.

"We're here," he announced, and leant his battered bicycle against a tree, making sure the other boy was following. Ryo led him through the trees and onto a cliff of sorts. Ueda sucked in a breath in awe.

Ryo watched Ueda as he stepped forward slightly. The view was incredible - even Ryo had to admit it. Trees stretched on for miles in a sea of endless green, and the sky was as blue as he had ever seen it. A flock of birds flew by overhead, the fluttering of their wings the only sound surrounding the two boys. Leaves littered the ground at their feet, odd little weeds growing up through them, bearing tiny purple and blue flowers.

Ryo sat down on the edge of the cliff, watching Ueda's awestruck face and feeling his stomach twist again. Ueda sat next to him, pulling his knees up to his chest and watching the birds soar across the sky. "It's so pretty," Ueda murmured, more to himself than to Ryo, but Ryo nodded anyway.

"I thought you'd like it," Ryo mumbled, picking at the dead leaves near his knees.

"I do."

They sat in silence awhile, even though Ryo knew he should be getting home, but there was just something keeping him right here. Ueda's fingers were fluttering over the tiny flowers as he looked out to the sky, sighing heavily. For the first time Ryo wondered what he was thinking when his eyes went all distant like they were now; where did he go, in his mind? What caused him to sigh?

"What's up?" Ryo found himself asking, and Ueda's eyes flicked to his for the briefest second before focusing down on the flowers in his hand.

"Nothing."

"Something's wrong, you keep sighing like all the world's problems are on your shoulders," Ryo countered, reaching over to pluck a few flowers from Ueda and twisting them around in his own fingers.

"M-maybe they are," Ueda whispered.

"You can tell me," Ryo said, feeling his cheeks flush a little at how open he was being.

"You'll just laugh," he heard Ueda mutter, and had to lean forward to catch it.

He felt a little affronted. "I will not."

Ueda gave him a long look. "I just... I'm just a little... oh, nothing," Ueda stuttered, sighing again and leaning his chin on his knees. A yellow flower dangled from his fingers, and Ryo leaned over to take it from him, shuffling closer to him so that their shoulders were touching.

"Okay," was all Ryo said, letting it go. Ueda smiled, making those butterflies stir in Ryo's stomach. Ueda took the flower back, nudging Ryo a little.

Ueda let his legs dangle off the side of the cliff, and his fingers started drawing what seemed like random patterns on his thigh. Ryo watched awhile, and realised that Ueda was drawing the flower he held.

The wind turned cold, and Ryo's phone started buzzing in his pocket. It was his mother, wondering where he had been for the past hour, and he sighed as he turned to Ueda. "I've gotta go now. See you later?"

Ueda just nodded, turning the flower over and over between his fingers.

 

>>><<<

 

It turned out that Ueda was just lonely.

 

>>><<<

 

Ryo couldn't get Ueda out of his mind. He would see him around school, tucked into a corner with his nose in his sketchbook, flecks of paint in his copper hair. Ryo had to smile at the stripe of blue paint across his cheek; Ueda seemed oblivious to it. Ryo hadn't really spoken to him since that day, never really finding the time - or maybe he was avoiding Ueda, for reasons unknown to him just yet.

Sometimes he felt Ueda's eyes on him, watching him as he laughed with his friends. He would always pause to look around, but by then Ueda had turned back to his drawings.

More often than not, he would see Ueda off in his own world during class, staring at the whiteboard behind the teacher but not really paying much attention. Ryo wondered what went on in Ueda's mind; wondered what he was thinking. What was so interesting to make him disappear into that world all the time?

He was always covered in paint. There was always a lead strip on the side of his hand, from where his hand had swiped over his sketches as he touched them up. He was constantly in trouble from the stricter teachers because of the paint on his uniform, but Ryo wasn't entirely sure that Ueda even noticed what they were saying.

It was funny, but whenever Ryo saw him, sitting there tucked away in some corner drawing like his life depended on it, he couldn't help but smile.

 

>>><<<

 

It was after one music class when Ueda tugged on the hem of Ryo's untucked shirt. Jin and Pi paused as they repacked their bags, staring at Ueda like he were some form of insect. Ueda had his eyes to the floor.

"Yes?" Ryo asked, feeling rather self-conscious with the way the other two were just watching them, waiting for their conversation.

"I need to talk to you," Ueda murmured, his eyes flicking up to Ryo's for the briefest second before returning back to his shoes.

"Okay. Let me pack this up and--"

"Not now," Ueda interrupted, and Ryo paused. "Later."

"Um--"

But Ueda had already turned to leave, the smallest of bows directed at Jin and Yamapi, who just raised their eyebrows in unison. "What was all that about?" Jin asked eventually, shouldering his backpack and leading the other two out of the classroom.

"Dunno," Ryo answered truefully, shrugging as they headed out to their next class. Science. Ryo hated science.

Apparently Ueda had this class too. This was a thing that Ryo had noticed only of late - Ueda had most of the same classes as he did.

He wondered what Ueda was thinking about during their lecture about ecosystems.

 

>>><<<

 

After the last bell had rang, Ryo waited against the wall to the A block building, flipping his phone over and over and over in his hands. Pi and Jin had already left - since Jin got his driver's license the month before, he had been driving literally everywhere. Ryo had declined today though.

He looked up as a pair of shoes came into his vision, and gasped a little. "What happened to you?" he asked, wide-eyed.

There was white paint covering the whole of Ueda's right side, dripping out of his copper hair and leaving a trail behind him. Ueda's eyes were red, as if he were about to cry, and Ryo couldn't really blame him. Ueda didn't answer, just sniffling a little.

"Come on," Ryo said, grabbing carefully onto Ueda's left arm and dragging him to the parking lot. "You're just lucky I drove today."

After Ryo had put a towel on the passenger seat (it was there in case of emergencies - generally if Jin had too much to drink and needed to puke), Ueda climbed in.

Ryo was kind of furious. Not with Ueda, of course, but at the people who did this. "So, what happened?" he asked as he drove. Ueda had given him directions to his house beforehand.

Ueda looked ahead, staring at the tiny little guitar which hung from the rear vision mirror swing about on it's thin string.

"Ueda?"

"People are mean," he answered, his voice but a whisper, and Ryo barely caught it over the sound of some eighties rock band singing their hearts out through his battered speakers.

"They are," Ryo said. "Left or right?"

"Straight."

Ryo's little brown Honda protested up the hill, whining and creaking so much that Ryo noticed Ueda grabbing hold of his seat with both hands. "It's not going to break around us," he laughed, before the knob for the airconditioning fell to the floor with a clatter. "Ah shit, again?"

Ueda laughed. Not just a chuckle, but a full-out laugh, leaning back in his seat and covering his mouth with the back of his hand. Ryo couldn't stop the smile that was blooming on his face. Ueda was cute when he laughed.

"Ah-- right!" Ryo slammed on the brakes before attempting the turn that had almost passed them, taking it a little too fast and causing Ueda to make a strange high-pitched noise. "Whoops-- sorry--"

"It's okay," Ueda breathed, looking pale. "Please don't kill me."

Ryo laughed. "I'll try."

"Thankyou."

Ryo only then realised that the street they had turned onto was lined with exquisite houses, all of massive proportions and with dark-coloured fences surrounding them. Everything was white and perfect; the box hedges shaped so elegantly out the front of one house were all exactly the same height, and Ryo couldn't tell where one plant began and the other ended. Everything was very symmetrical, and a little creepy, Ryo thought.

"This is it," Ueda mumbled, looking like he was about to jump out of the moving car. "You can drop me off here."

Ueda's house towered above them, its white faces glaring down at them intimidatingly. Ryo felt rather out of place, in his untucked uniform and beat-up old car, but Ueda didn't seem to mind being seen with him - then again, he was covered in paint.

The gate opened automatically for Ryo's car, and Ryo drove in, ignoring Ueda's protests and parking in the carport carefully. There was a shiny new black car in the spot next to his that he definitely didn't want to scratch.

"No, really-- You can just leave me here--"

But Ryo wouldn't have any of it, climbing out of his car and closing the door with a determined air. Ueda sighed, resigned to the fact that Ryo wasn't going to leave him alone, and carefully unstuck himself from the towel on the chair, remembering to take it with him at the last minute. At Ryo's questioning glance, he explained that he was to wash it, and shuffled off without listening to another word.

Ryo supposed he should follow him.

The inside of the house was even more impressive than he had imagined. Everything seemed to _shine_ , it was so clean. There were pristine marble floors and white walls and expensive-looking paintings hung up in ornate gold frames, and when Ryo looked up he noticed that there were crystal chandeliers hanging from the roof, sparkling in the sunshine streaming from a high circular window. Ueda was making his way up the spiral staircase, turning around to see where Ryo had gone.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, his voice echoing down the stairs, "Is it too weird?"

"Th--The house?" Ryo asked, moving carefully up to where Ueda was waiting. "It's fine. Massive, but fine."

Ueda cracked a smile - he had been eyeing Ryo a little nervously ever since they had walked into the house - and continued up the stairs. Ryo was still too scared to touch anything for fear that he'd break it.

Ueda disappeared through the second door on the left - there were many doors; Ryo wondered what was in them - and left it open for Ryo to follow. He stood there awkwardly as Ryo walked in, shifting from foot to foot.

His room was normal. A single bed stood against the wall, a plain maroon cover spread over the top of it. The walls had band posters over them, and there were stacks upon stacks of CDs and DVDs spilling out of their racks and onto the floor. Dirty clothes covered the carpet, and Ueda hurriedly picked them up, bundling them up and throwing them into a corner, his face red. A large desk cured around one corner, unfinished sketches lying here and there. Charcoal stains lay on the carpet; notebooks scattered about with hastily written notes scrawled on their surfaces. The desk was covered in drawings of birds and people and little distorted monsters that made Ryo smile. There were photos of different countries standing up on a chest of drawers, and Ryo ran his fingers over the flimsy photoframes, wondering if Ueda had been to all these places.

"Did you take these?" he asked, but Ueda shook his head.

"My parents sent them to me," he answered, picking clean clothes out of the drawers. "They're travelling around Egypt at the moment."

Ryo nodded in understanding, moving to look at the books in Ueda's bookshelf. There were so many, of different genres; from fantasy novels to textbooks to art books to old childrens books. There were little nicknacks on the shelves, things that Ryo supposed Ueda's parents had brought back from their trips overseas.

"I'm-- I'm going to go shower," Ueda murmured, ducking his head as Ryo turned.

"Oh, right. I'll just-- I'll get going then," Ryo said, but Ueda grabbed his arm lightly as he went to pass him.

"Please stay."

So Ryo sat on Ueda's bed, flicking through a book so old it crackled when Ryo turned the pages. A room was something rather personal, and he could tell that Ueda was a little nervous bringing him into his space. He wondered why Ueda had all these old books about; there were so many ancient picture books stacked up in his overflowing bookshelf, and Ryo's curiosity was getting the better of him.

Ueda was back in fifteen minutes, his hair brushed away from his forehead, and Ryo felt his breath catch in his throat. He'd never seen Ueda in normal clothes before. He was kind of breathtaking. Ryo coughed.

"Sorry," Ueda said, cocking his head at the book in Ryo's hands. "Where'd you find that?"

"It was just... on the top-- am I not allowed to?" Ryo asked, placing it down carefully.

"Ah, no-- it's okay-- I just haven't seen it in a while," Ueda said, a whisper of a smile on his face.

"Can I ask you something?" Ryo asked, and Ueda nodded, his eyes immediately cautious. "Why do you have so many kids books?"

Ueda looked a little relieved. Ryo briefly wondered what he thought Ryo would ask. "Oh. Most of them I keep cause I like the art. But some of them I've had since I was little," he answered, drying his hair. Ryo noticed that there was still some paint at the tips.

"You've still got paint on you," Ryo said, and Ueda paused.

"R-Really?"

"Yeah." Ueda went crosseyed trying to find where the paint was in his hair, and Ryo laughed, getting to his feet and crossing the room in three strides. "Here," he said, reaching out and gently touching the ends of Ueda's hair. Ueda looked up at him, his brown eyes shining. "Nishikido?"

"...Sorry," Ryo stuttered, letting go of Ueda and sitting back on the bed.

Ueda said nothing, his fingers trying to get rid of the paint in his hair as he sat next to Ryo, moving so his back was leaning against the wall. Ryo followed suit.

"Are you alright now?" Ryo asked after a while. Ueda nodded. "Tell me what happened?"

"Two of the guys thought it'd be funny," Ueda answered.

"What, to dump paint all over you?"

"Yeah. People think I'm weird."

Ryo was angry. Ryo was very angry. Who _did_ that to a person?

"But it's okay. It's Friday. You're not allowed to be angry on a Friday," Ueda said matter-of-factly, and Ryo turned.

Ryo didn't know why he did it. He moved his hand to Ueda's cheek, feeling his heartbeat quicken. He wasn't really sure why, or how, but all he knew was Ueda, standing in front of him with paint in his hair and a question in his eyes.

He kissed him.

Ueda gasped a little and Ryo drew back, staring at him wide-eyed. "I don't know wh--"

But Ueda just kissed him back tentatively, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of Ryo's uniform. Ryo pulled away first.

"I like your eyes," Ueda murmured, his hands moving to Ryo's waist carefully. "Is that okay?"

"That's okay," Ryo whispered against Ueda's forehead, pressing a light kiss there, "That's very okay."

"Can--Can I kiss you again?" Ueda asked, and Ryo felt his breath catch again at his beauty. He had never thought of another man as being _beautiful_ , but there was just... something about Ueda. He had him entranced.

"...Yeah."

And Ueda did, kissing him passionately, unlike anyone had ever kissed him before. It was something completely new and a little bit scary, Ryo had to admit, but that was okay. If it were with Ueda, that was okay.

 

>>><<<

 

"You know, you're the first person I've let in here," Ueda said later, when they were sprawled on his floor and staring up at the ceiling.

"Really?" Ryo asked, leaning up on his elbows and looking down at him. He still had paint in his hair. Ryo was going to have to get used to that.

"Mm," Ueda hummed, gazing up at him. "You're the first person I've wanted to let in."

"Then thankyou," Ryo murmured. "That means a lot."

"Can I call you Ryo?"

Ryo laughed. "Yeah, I think that's alright," he said, lying back down and taking hold of Ueda's hand.

This time, Ueda sat up, leaning over Ryo with a strange look in his eyes. He trailed his fingers over Ryo's face, tracing his moles to his temple. "I want to draw you," Ueda whispered, and Ryo laughed lightly.

"Really? I'm not th--"

"Yeah. Can I?" Ueda asked, his fingers ghosting over Ryo's now-closed eyelids. "I've been wanting to ask for ages."

"Well in that case," Ryo said, sitting up and startling Ueda a little, "Let's go."

"What?"

"You can draw me," Ryo said, dragging Ueda up, "And I'll draw you."

Ueda smiled. "I think that's an excellent idea."

 

 --the end


End file.
